Yesterday afternoon I was plugging away at work when I got a phone call from the adoption agency. Annnnndddd... turns out they are coming to our house to start our homestudy on Monday. Yes, this Monday coming up. Holy shit.
I started freaking out. Not freaking out like "oh my god, there's a social worker coming to my house in 6 days" but more like "oh my god, this is really happening, I'm going to have a baby" kind of freaking out.
I don't know what I expected. I think I sort of expected our homestudy to not start until like 2015. I know, ridiculous right? But seriously, I feel like I had all these lofty visions of what it was going to be like when a) our homestudy was under way and b) when we get a baby.
Here's the low down. A social worker will be coming to our house for the next 3 Mondays, from 1-5 p.m. I will take the time off work and Bob has the afternoons off as is. I don't know what the whole homestudy is really going to entail, but I'm imagining there will be questions about our lives, why we want to adopt, our relationship, our families, etc. My sister pointed out that this seems very arduous. My feelings on it are that yes, this process is going to be taxing, but... one of the only fortunate things about infertility is that I will never have to push a baby out of my vagina. 12 hours of interviews I can take.
Then. THEN. At the end of January, we will be done our homestudy. Then we will be on a waiting list. Oh. My. God. This is happening so fast.
Chances are, we'll be on a list for like a year. That's fine, I'm totally cool with that (today, anyway). But here's the thing. My friend was on the list for 3 weeks and she had a daughter. Like a real live, breathing, crying, pooping, snuggling newborn baby girl.
I am trying to remember what it was like when I thought I was never going to be a mom. I am trying to remember if there was *ever* a hint of relief in there. Because for the record ladies, this is a teeny bit scary. Don't get me wrong, there is for sure nothing I want more than to be a mama. But let's be honest here - now that I'm inching, no, let me correct myself, SPEEDING towards motherhood, I'm kinda crapping my pants.
So ya, that's what is new in my world.
Listening to: Tone Loc - Funky Cold Medina
Wow! So crazy and fast! You are right, it is a little scary. Being parents is a HUGE thing and you are getting closer to that goal. I am excited and happy for you. Let us know how those meetings go.
ReplyDeleteOh my god how exciting! I totally get that this would be kinda scary, the knowledge that this now could move super fast! can't wait to hear more!
ReplyDeleteUm, amazing! I'm so excited for you guys. I know you'll probably have an insane weekend ahead of you getting ready but this is awesome! Can't wait to hear how it all goes.
ReplyDeleteHow exciting, and yes scary, but good scary I think! I am looking forward to hearing how it goes.
ReplyDeleteOMG!!!! I know this is terrifying on one level, but it's absolutely exciting on the other. You're starting the homestudy, Alicia!!!! You are that much closer to bringing home your child!!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there. The process may seem arduous, but this time will allow the social worker to get to know you two better, both individually and as a couple. As scary as that sounds, I know you'll be awesome and it will only benefit with the match process.
Thinking of you. And breath. All will be well.
Wow!!! I am so excited for you and also understand why you'd feel scared. Ok, I cannot believe the 12-hr thing. What in the world will they be talking about that whole time?
ReplyDeleteGood luck this Mon--I'm sure it will go great and will make it seem all the more real. And OMG--can't believe about your friend having a baby so quickly.
That is happening fast. But from someone who is facing more delays, speed could be a good thing! I can't wait to hear how it goes. I'm excited for you. My friend thought it would be a year with her first adoption and she was selected by a birth mom in just a few months. Can't wait to meet your baby. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat is so exciting! Our home study was a little different. We had our first two meetings at the agency and they were group meetings but we basically talked about everything. Our lives, ours plans for our families, how we feel about adoption. We talked a lot about what is gained and lost by all members of the triad in an adoption. It was actually really helpful because it opened my eyes a lot to what the birth mother is going through. I had been so concerned about my own feelings about the adoption that I didn't stop to think about how difficult this is for everyone involved.
ReplyDeleteGood luck! I cannot wait to hear how it goes.
SO exciting! I hope those first few home visits have gone oh so well!
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